And Yet Here We Are (30 Days of Kamille and Fa)
by TearsofTime0086
Summary: Despite all of their bickering and nagging, they've managed to stay together through the war. 30 memories and fiascos of the two teenagers from Green Noa. [Prompts from the 100 themes challenge on dA]- Cover image by impossibleorimprobable!
1. Smile

Hello everyone! This'll be my first shot at uploading anything, so constructive criticism is greatly appreciated!

Updating may take a while due to my a) lack of time and b) struggle for inspiration.

First chapter will take place at some point during ZZ Gundam (while not completely following canon).

Rating: T (just in case)

14\. Smile

* * *

She knew she was asking for too much.

It had been four months, twenty-three days since the Gryps Conflict. Three months, five days since she left Shangri La.

And two weeks after the miracle happened. She couldn't describe it as anything less than that. For the first time, Kamille had acted on his own will, fiddling with the wires attached to his bed while she almost fainted from surprise. His motor skills grew from there, and the next day he was eating by himself (with some occasional help from her). The week after, he got out of the hospital bed and slowly shuffled across the room.

With these accomplishments growing by the day, she kept her fingers crossed. Wouldn't it be possible that… maybe not today or tomorrow but someday… that he could finally speak again? That they could at last tell their thoughts to each other? And perhaps… perhaps he would accept her deepest feelings as well?

Her hope was to be short-lived. Kamille remained just as silent as each day passed, and his once crystal-blue eyes were still glossed over with milky film. Aside from the agonizing screams that were the only outlet for his nightmares, his lips remained shut. After waiting a week, she decided that it had all been false hopes. It would be a while before Kamille would fully be back.

She entered Kamille's room with the same mindset from two weeks ago, and with disappointed acceptance withdrew her fantasies. Nevertheless, she smiled as wide as she could when she and Kamille met each other's eyes. It pained her inside to see nothing but dull cyan, but she reminded herself that Kamille still was somewhere in that broken body.

"I brought you lunch," she said, placing the plastic tray on the table next to him. "It must be hard eating the same food everyday," she continued almost to herself, "I'll see if there's anything else I can bring you, okay?" Kamille stared blankly, but began rising out of bed. It had been shocking the first time he had done it, but this time, Fa simply glanced at him. He tottered his way toward the open balcony, where he rested along the white beam separating safety from death.

That bar had always made Fa uneasy. It was far too short to protect a child from falling, never mind Kamille. She walked over to the veranda, nervously scanning his posture. Luckily, he seemed to be fine.

His melancholy eyes stared off into the horizon, fixated on some point beyond the bustling streets of Dublin. As he leaned against the bar, his mouth twitched downward at the edges. The wind blew against his hair and clothes softly, the fluttering making his body almost ethereal, like a wisp ready to vanish at an instant. This was the most distress he'd shown while he was awake… and Fa's heart seemed to explode. What could he be thinking? Was there no way she could help him?

"Kamille…" she whispered, but he remained motionless, letting the wind brush coldly against his face. If it had been Green Noa, then he would likely have replied with a sharp retort against her sentimentality. Even if she was to be ridiculed or teased, she desperately pleaded that he would reply. The frown merely grew larger.

Then everything started to go in slow motion. Fa noticed his center of weight shifting closer and closer toward the bar, until his upper body was past the safety of the bar. Horrific visions of him falling to his doom flashed in her mind. _No… Not after all that he'd suffered through…_ Fa's mind completely shut down, and moving solely on instinct, she dashed forward. Kamille's hands were now completely detached from the bar, drooping limply through empty air. His body now noticeably was tilted downward, but the face was still covered in a visage of quiet suffering.

"Kamille!" The scream was ripped from her throat, and time seemed to slow. She was going to be too late… he would… he would fall off the edge…

What happened next she could never explain. Kamille himself was confused about the entire incident, while the doctors attributed it to a sudden rush of blood to his head.

Fa's hand stretched out and clasped firmly onto his arm, clenching the hospital gown until she felt hard bone. With unnatural force, she yanked Kamille backward, and his spine snapped into a straight line. Both of them stumbled for a few paces, until she was catching her breath near the doors of the veranda.

 _Why would this happen to you, Kamille? Has it… has the war hurt you too much?_ she thought, tears threatening to burst. He had always been too sympathetic for his own good. Listening to every story, carrying everyone's burdens… until he at last had chosen to relieve himself of those pains.

A slight touch on her arm brought her back from her depressing thoughts. Her fist was still tightly clenched around Kamille's arm, but his other hand lightly began removing the fingers one by one.

And she couldn't believe what she was seeing.

His dull blue eyes were now their normal bright cerulean, and they looked at her with the same shock that she was feeling. The hands seemed to be working subconsciously, his face frozen in the same position of surprise. Fa would've been ecstatic if she wasn't just about to cry.

Then, the reaction faded. His eyes softened and she could tell that he was actually seeing her. She had no idea what to do, and stood there awkwardly, her mind in turmoil.

And just when she was about to say something, he smiled.

The world seemed to come to a standstill, and there was nothing there but the two of them, and that smile. This wasn't the smirk that always was plastered on his face at school, or the sneaky leer after he won an argument with her. Nor was it that small but resigned grin that he had forcibly created while they were on the Argama. No, this was a genuine smile of happiness, one that she had only seen… had she ever seen it?

 _Fa…_ She could've sworn that Kamille had said something, but his lips were shut. It _was_ Kamille's voice though, and she realized that it had to be that Newtype connection that she had thought of wistfully while alone.

"Kamille…?" she ventured nervously, not knowing what to do. He began guiding her back toward his bed, and she limply followed, her fingers still lightly holding onto him. Both of them sat on the cot, and he began lying down, just as if nothing had happened. Fear began growing in her stomach that this would be the only moment they would achieve this much clarity.

"Kamille, wait!" she begged, looking into his already dulling eyes, "Don't go yet, please! I… I have so much to say to you… I missed you so much… Can't I… why can't I say that…"

 _That I love you?_

The flurry of pleading vanished as the words vibrated in her head. Kamille looked up at her, his smile wider than ever. He moved her hand until it was cupped inside his own, and he grasped it as tight as he could.

"You… you do…?" she whispered, blinking rapidly.

He nodded, but with visible effort. His neck twitched slightly, and she could feel his hand weakening by the second. In a final burst of emotion, she hugged him tightly, her arms caressing his own. Kamille returned it the best as he could, but she could tell that he was struggling. Whatever Scirocco had done to him… it still wasn't over yet. But for now, all she wanted to do was to be with him for a moment longer, to feel the warmth emanating from him for as long as possible.

When the two separated at last, his arms had lost all of their strength, lying flat on the bed. His eyes darted back and forth, as if he was suddenly consumed with fear. He would have to face the terrors once again. But this time, she promised that he wouldn't be alone.

"Kamille. Kamille, can you hear me?" Fa asked, and was relieved to see his head groggily turn toward her. "Please keep fighting. I know it's hard, but I'll always be here with you. During Gryps, I never had the chance to say how I felt about you… and I'm sorry. But I promise I'll never leave you again. We'll get through this together, you and me. You don't have to bear the pain alone anymore."

His eyes widened, and for a moment, that blue spark of energy reignited them. With more peace than before, he lay down on the bed, the tips of his mouth turning up slightly. His eyes began blinking rapidly, each blink revealing a duller hue in his irises. A minute later his eyes were completely shut, but before the last eyelid closed, she heard something being whispered into the wind.

 _Fa… thank you._


	2. Horror

Hello again! I've finally found time to update~ (maybe I should replace the 30 days with 30 months...)

Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

Rating: T (for a tad of strong language)

65\. Horror

* * *

"Kamiyu! KAMIYU!"

"Damn it, Fa, if you're going to call me, use my actual name, will ya?" He growled, scowling at the girl in the doorway.

She puffed up her cheeks, glaring back at him. "Well, you don't answer me if I don't say it like that!" she pouted.

"Who would if _you_ were the one talking?" That retort earned him a smack on the face.

More fighting and a cold towel later, Kamille was gingerly compressing the wet cloth against his red cheek. "Okay, what is it?" he sighed, leaning back in his chair.

For the first time, she was left speechless. Awkwardly, she went over to his bed and began to organize his messy bed sheets.

Kamille raised an eyebrow. "I know you heard me." Was… was she blushing? What was she embarrassed about?

Her fingers began smoothing over miniscule wrinkles, but she finally mustered the courage to speak. "You see, the school carnival's tonight."

"I know that," he said, moving next to her.

"And they're doing the horror walk again this year. I've heard that it's amazing. Kasumi and Mari are going as well…"

"That thing? You know it's just a bunch of students in the dark pouncing on you, right?"

"But still… I couldn't go last year, so I really want to see it tonight!"

Kamille shrugged. "Whatever. Why'd you come here to tell me then?"

Fa looked away, glancing toward his open closet. "The thing is… they're only letting people in as pairs."

"Not a problem, right? Just ask one of the girls to go with you."

"They're already going with Eiji and Fuyuki…"

"Oh yeah, they have boyfriends… you still don't?"

Her face flushed red as she raised her open palm. Flinching away, he realized he'd said the wrong thing… again. But instead of the slap he was anticipating, Fa lowered her hand and sighed. "If I did, I wouldn't be here asking you."

"Asking me what?" He looked at her curiously. Fa sighed once more, most likely thinking that he was an idiot. _Well, I'm sorry for not picking up your extremely vague signals_ , he thought.

"Could you be my partner for the horror walk?"

Now _that_ was surprising. He stumbled away from the bed, trying to keep the cocky stare on his face. It didn't work.

"What's wrong?" Fa asked, following him. She smirked. "You're not scared, are you?"

"Of… of course not! Who do you think I am?"

"Remember what happened with Eiji and the..."

"We are not talking about that."

Fa smiled for a moment, but instantly it turned into a frown. "So what is the reason, exactly?"

 _Damn! I thought I would've been able to stall for more time than that… what to say…_ Because the problem was that he  was terrible at these horror things. He had overactive reflexes, and his karate didn't help that at all… But he couldn't tell that to her. She would gossip about it to everyone in the school and there'd be another thing for his classmates to tease him about.

So in the end, he tried the route that he always did when making an excuse. "You see, the homo avis guys are planning on doing the test runs today. I can't-"

"You liar!"

Kamille flinched at the loud noise. "What?"

Fa was truly angry now, her shoulders quivering with tension. Her face darkened considerably as he was again caught in a dilemma. "Masaki told me that the test runs were next week. You liar!" Oh. That was why. The elaborate plan he had made shattered instantly. Why would… he'd have to talk to Masaki about this. In the middle of his fuming, he barely noticed Fa walking away until she huffed loudly. He needed a new idea. And quick.

"Look, Fa, I can explain!" he pleaded, running alongside her, "It's… um… the thing is… I actually… um..."

Fa's protruding hand stopped his rambling. "Kamille. I don't know what your reason is this time, but it's obvious that you don't want to go," she sighed, opening the door, "It's okay. I'll just ask Takaugi instead. He'll go with me."

"TAKAUGI!?"

She glared after his outburst. "Yes, Takaugi. Anything wrong with that?"

"That guy's a total jerk! He's an idiot and a player! You know the rumors going around. Why are you asking him?"

"Because the other jerk in my life said no."

He was speechless. Is that what she truly thought of him as? _I mean, I haven't been the best person to her lately…_

"I'm sorry… it's just…" Fa looked up in surprise, and he guiltily realized that this was likely the first time he'd apologized for anything. He wasn't used to this kind of thing. Nevertheless, he forged on.

"I don't think he deserves someone like you," he said honestly, "Neither do I, but hey, you stick around anyway right?" He laughed weakly, avoiding her shocked face. "I don't know… I guess it's too late to go with you?"

She didn't reply. He withered under her stare, fingers clenching the edges of his jacket. He'd messed up big time…

Kamille half-expected the following punch, but it was much lighter than he anticipated. Much, much lighter.

When he looked back up, Fa was smiling again (thank goodness), and she glanced knowingly at him. "You idiot. Why do you have to always make things so complicated? You could've just said yes," she snapped, but fondly.

He grinned. "That's the way I work."

"You mean that's the way _I_ have to work. I'll see you at five then?"

He nodded, opening the door for her. "And make sure Takaugi knows nothing about this."

With a short laugh, she left. He congratulated himself on a job well done, casually walking to the table and swinging his legs over the tabletop.

And then he realized why he had refused to go in the first place.

Luckily Fa was out of the corridor by then, narrowly missing the giant crash and the ensuing obscenities that were heard beyond the door.

* * *

It was twenty minutes past five o'clock when the two left the horror walk. But there was a slight problem with this. The time they left was a perfectly reasonable time, considering that they had to stand in line. Neither was the problem physical, as both came out unscathed.

No, it was just the fact that the horror walk had been shut down for the night.

To the casual observer, one would have seen the school nurse and other professional looking people dash into the hall. School officers quickly closed and locked down the doors, urging the crowd to head toward the other festivities. A few costumed stragglers came out, anxiously huddled over a groaning high school student with a bloody nose.

And at the very end, came Fa, laughing her voice away, and Kamille, his head completely hidden inside his sweating hands.

"Kamiyu…"

"Do not talk to me right now."

"B...but really… I think that… haha… what I mean is… umph…"

"SHUT. UP."

For all of this to make sense, let us go back in time to ten minutes ago.

"Are you alright? You seem jumpy."

Kamille looked toward Fa, her face's contours disappearing under the dimming light. "What do you mean? I'm perfectly fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnneeeeeee." He jumped, anxiously clawing the wall. Fa looked on critically.

"Kamille. That's a fake spider you know."

"It came out of nowhere! But it wasn't that scary… I was just distracted. Yeah, because you were talking." He tried to ignore the _pfft_ heard from his right and carried on.

 _Why did I agree to go to this goddamn place… I can't even reach my hand out before…_ He twitched as his fingers came into contact with some cobwebs.

This time, Fa ignored him. "You know… I heard Eiji and Fuyuki held Mari and Kasumi's hands…" she said, fingers slightly reaching out.

Kamille was too panicked to notice. His pace increased tenfold, accompanied by various jumps in between. With a sigh, Fa ran to catch up to him.

The two had barely passed the entrance hallway. He'd heard from Eiji that the actual walk included people jumping on you. In the dark.

 _Okay, just stay calm. If I can walk fast enough, no one will be able to surprise me. Now I gotta stay focus-_

"Kamiyu!"

He yelped, then glared as he turned around. "Keep it quiet Fa! You're ruining the mood!" he snapped, hoping to compensate for his embarrassing actions.

Except who he saw wasn't Fa.

Seeing the foreign face, and with his nerves already frayed, he instinctively reacted the best way he could.

Unfortunately, that was with karate.

The rest is history. The poor victim was taken to the nurse with a throbbing and bloody nose. Eiji and Masaki joked about it for months, occasionally watching for Kamille's fists flying through the air. Fa teased him about it too, but not as much. No one but her knew of the second occurrence in the horror walk. As Kamille initiated the hit, he'd grasped onto her hand and pulled her back. He seemed to have no recollection of this, but Fa remembered. She remembered the firm grasp of his hand and the protectiveness she had felt in him much more than the ensuing hilarity (as obvious as it was).

So in the end, Fa got what she wanted after all.


	3. Pen and Paper

Hello! It's been a while. I've just barely finished finals, so I apologize for the long hiatus. Updating will be faster now.

Thank you so so much to the two guests (or is it just one? I'm not quite sure) as well as flayjunior15! I don't know how to respond directly in the comments (I'm really new here), but I would love hearing about your ideas!

I hope you enjoy!

Rating: T (for a tad of strong language)

81\. Pen and Paper

* * *

"Oi, Astionage!"

Apolly leaned outside of the cockpit, throwing a wrench to the mechanic down below.

"Lt. Apolly! The Rick Dias isn't done with its repairs yet," Astionage yelled, juggling the wrench nervously just before it landed on his foot.

"I think it's time we took a break," Apolly said, swinging onto the lift, "Plus our entertainment's here." He pointed toward the left with his shoulders, a grin already forming on his face.

Astionage began smiling too. "Oh, the two are at their recreation again, huh?"

Kamille and Fa were bickering once more, this time at the platform next to the docking area. Even from the opposite side, their nagging was heard clearly, much to Astionage and Apolly's delight.

"Kamiyu! You said you'd fix Haro for the kids! It's been a week!"

"I've been busy, alright? What do you think, I've been standing around doing nothing?"

"That's what it seems like! You've been napping the entire time you're off duty! You lazy idiot! Do you think that I don't know?"

"I'm tired because you nag me all the time! You think that any normal person would be able to deal with you?"

"Why you-" A smack reverberated across the room.

"Hey! What was that for?"

"It's YOUR fault that I have to talk to you like this, Kamiyu! You're such a grumpy jerk half the time and the rest of the time you don't talk to me at all! Why am I even friends with you?"

The rest of the conversation was missed by the two men, who were desperately trying to smother their laughter inside their normal suits. It didn't work out, but luckily most of the other crew members were also too occupied sniggering.

"Ah, teenage bickering," Apolly laughed, barely containing himself from snorting out loud. "I don't understand why they don't just get together."

"Probably because…" Astionage paused for a minute to catch his breath. "They wouldn't have an excuse to punch each other every other minute."

"Hey, I've got an idea," The lieutenant walked over and whispered into the mechanic's ear. Astionage doubled over, sniggering.

"Do you have a pen and paper?"

"Don't worry about that part. This will be perfect. You any good at copying handwriting?"

"Well, I don't know. If the Captain catches us…"

"Come on, just this once! This will be flawless, and no one will catch us. I'll get a camera ready."

And with a firm handshake, the two of them talked no more of this plan, the only sign of the scheme plastered on their faces as a grin.

* * *

The second time the two confidantes met was near the pilot dormitories. Apolly had a small recorder tucked under his jacket, and Astionage was hiding the last of the pens inside of his mechanic suit.

"Everything work out fine?" The lieutenant asked, turning the recorder on.

"Yep. It'll be the first thing they see when they head in. I even-"

Apolly shushed the mechanic, pushing him toward the wall as the two pilots in question entered the hallway. Kamille and Fa looked clearly annoyed at each other, refusing to meet each other's gazes. Their sleeves brushed against each other once, and Kamille aggressively moved forward, his eyes set in a cold glare. Fa too, walked toward her door with a look of disgust. Both doors closed with a formidable slam.

"Recording on?"

"Starting in five… four…"

"This is going to be great…"

"Shh! Three…"

The two came out earlier than expected, and Apolly almost lost hold of the recorder, banging his knee against the corridor wall. Fortunately, the two teenagers were too occupied with each other to notice the lieutenant's muffled groan.

Astionage was also having trouble holding his tongue. Fa and Kamille were both red, their cheeks flaring scarlet. Kamille seemed to have a hard time deciding whether to be happy or angry about this situation, and stood there with a more shakier glare than a minute ago. Fa was outright embarrassed, sneaking a glance to the letter clenched in her right hand every second or so. Thankfully, this was being recorded, as Astionage would need to vent out his guffawing within the next hour or so.

Kamille was the first to speak, his voice suddenly hoarse and failing him. "Fa… what is this?" he said, perhaps in the most vague way possible.

And of course, Fa returned it with another confusing response. "I… should be asking you that."

"Is this-well, is this really what you mean? I don't-"

"Aww, he's stuttering," Apolly teased.

"Shut up! Fa's about to say something," The mechanic replied, the two grown men focusing intently on the teenage drama.

"I just didn't know until now… I thought it was just me…"

"Yeah. Everything makes sense now."

"The letter…"

The tension was almost physical, filling the entire room. The two's words mixed together, both floundering to ask the same thing.

"So it is true? You really do…"

"I never thought that you…"

 _Lieutenant Apolly!_

Both men jumped at the sound of the transmitter. Kamille and Fa's heads both whipped around in shock to the source of the noise.

Apolly haphazardly gripped the microphone. "Captain! Could we maybe do this later? I'm busy right now!"

"Busy doing what?"

His surprised eyes met Kamille, who was eyeing the recorder suspiciously.

"Ah, Kamille! I was just… taking my break!"

 _Lieutenant, you're supposed to be on duty right now! Do I need to come over for a correction?_

"Captain!" Apolly swore inwardly. Trust Captain Bright to intrude at the wrong moment. He turned the transmitter off, perhaps too late.

"Mr. Astionage, why do you have the black pilot pens?" Fa pointed to the five pens that had spilled out of his suit.

"No reason!" Astionage leaned over to pick up the pens, when a solitary piece of paper fluttered to the ground.

Apolly dashed forward to grab it, but was intercepted by Kamille's foot. The young pilot looked at him curiously, reaching down toward the innocently lying paper.

"What is this, Lieutenant?" Despite asking the question, Kamille ignored Apolly's excuses and unfolded the paper. He began reading its contents aloud, his face becoming more and more scrunched as time passed.

"Dear…Kamille. I can't believe that it's been ten years since we first met. I don't know if you remember all of the fights and adventures we got ourselves into, but all of them are fond memories in my heart. All of this time… I've wanted to tell you something, but I've been hesitating. I guess it's because I'm afraid that you won't feel the same way. After we ended up on the Argama though, things changed. Our lives aren't the same anymore. I feel like I need to tell you before it's too late. Kamille… even if you don't feel the same way… I love you."

The now flushing pilot turned to Astionage. "How'd you get Fa's letter to me?"

"What? I never sent you a letter," Fa interrupted.

Kamille stared at her. "Then what were you talking about back there? It wasn't about the letter you left in my room?"

"No… I was talking about your letter!"

"But I never…" There was a moment of awkward silence, and the men contemplated escape. Nevertheless, they were too late, as everything then clicked for Kamille and Fa. The two of them simultaneously glared at Astionage and Apolly.

"Look, we can explain everything!" Astionage begged, backing toward the wall.

"Uh huh," Kamille seethed, crumpling the paper inside his fist.

"Just a harmless joke… right Fa?" Apolly said, hoping for her generosity.

There was to be none. Both pilots came over slowly, cornering the victims.

"Oh yeah, just a joke! We'll have to give something in return then, don't we Kamille?" Fa hissed, grabbing the recorder out of Apolly's trembling hands.

The sound of cracking knuckles filled the corridor. In a desperate final attempt, the lieutenant dived toward the left, narrowly sliding through the empty space. Unfortunately, Astionage hadn't picked up all of the pens, resulting in a rather embarassing faceplant. In all of the chaos Astionage slipped out less obviously, grabbing Apolly's arm and dashing out of the corridor.

"Hey!" Kamille yelled, starting to follow. Fa held him back, pointing toward the recorder in her hand.

"Let them go. You don't want to get in trouble with Captain Bright. And besides," she grinned slyly. "I got it all on camera."

The two laughed, albeit awkwardly as their previous conversation came to mind.

"So I guess it was all a fake, huh?" Fa said, her voice wavering.

"Not all of it," Kamille smiled, leaning against the corridor wall.

Fa couldn't help but blush scarlet. "It wasn't?"

"Nope," Kamille chuckled nonchalantly, "I remember all of those fights we had. You hit really hard."

His laughter abruptly stopped after receiving a slap to the face.

"Hey, what was that for?"

"You're terrible, you know that? Take a clue at least! You idiot!"

"Was it something I said?" he asked lamely as she walked away.

Things returned to normal on the Argama. Kamille and Fa continued to yell at each other, and no one else ever heard of the letter incident. Astionage and Apolly avoided both the bridge and the docking station for a while. But as everyone knows, Bright always finds his correctionees, and caught the two anyway. The next time the pair was seen they were hosting a number of sores on their face, and Kamille thanked his lucky stars that Fa had stopped him in time. Order returned to the ship at last.

Well, at least until that video of Apolly face-planting began circulating.


	4. Playing the Melody

_Good day to everyone! I'm finally back! (although I said I would update quicker in the last chapter... haha. My apologies)_

 _Thank you to everyone who's been kind enough to leave a review. Not to be too sappy here, but they do really mean everything for me and are a great source of inspiration. I'd never thought I'd get past a couple views, so I am really amazed and thankful to everyone who sticks to my mediocre writing. I'll keep trying to post whenever I can, but I tend to get a bit scattered in terms of writing._

 _67\. Playing the Melody_

 _Rating: K_

* * *

For the first time in her many years of school, Fa Yuiry was bored. And at the worst possible time to be bored as well.

It was break time, and the rest of her classmates had no trouble finding something to do. As for her… she would normally use this time to catch up on her schoolwork, but the teachers had been oddly benevolent this week. To make things worse, this was Advanced Physics, usually a senior-only class. The school year had barely started, and she was too afraid to go up to a group of strangers immediately. Fa glanced to her right. Of course, she could always talk to _him_... But that was another issue in and of itself.

Kamille was occupied with his music player, his head subconsciously bobbing up and down rather rapidly. He was completely oblivious to her staring, likely listening to a song at a painfully loud volume. Fa pursed her lip in distaste. Just imagining the quick tempo and the flurry of noises made her shudder.

 _But there's not anything else I can do… and I'm so bored…_

"Hey… Kamille," she spoke hesitantly, still undecided about the entire issue. He didn't hear her, staring down at his desk. The next time, she spoke more firmly, but met with the same response. She was starting to get annoyed now, her foot tapping anxiously on the edge of her chair.

"Kamille! Kamille Bidan!" Still no answer.

In the end, she was unable to control her growing annoyance. "KAMILLE!" she yelled, slapping his desk loudly.

Kamille flinched, but immediately saw her and scowled. "What'd you do that for?" he snapped, pulling out one of his earbuds.

The motivation from her anger died away, and she twirled her fingers awkwardly. "Well, I was wondering if I could listen to the music with you…"

"Is that all?" he asked, looking at her amusingly. Kamille knew how much she hated his music tastes, and the feeling went both ways. She could barely listen to any of her favorite love songs because Kamille would always tease her about it. Her cheeks flushed red.

"W-well? Are you going to let me or not?"

Kamille instantly began meddling with the music player. "This song's not over yet. Wait until I listen to all of it," he said, and the earbud popped into his ear once more.

Fa had to fight the urge to issue a biting insult. She didn't understand why she talked to him in the first place. Part of her mind reminded her that it was actually fun chatting with him, but she tried to ignore that. Mostly, she was just preoccupied with the raucous noises that she would soon be listening to. Would it be that dreadful rock band? The electronic music that made her want to throw up? That one song with the whiny horns?

After what seemed like forever, Kamille looked up again, handing her an earbud. "Song's finished," he said, although his voice seemed slightly more subdued than before. Bracing herself for the worst, she put the earphone in, and heard the dying sounds of loud guitar chords. The next song would begin seconds later.

 _When I first saw you, walking in that field of flowers…_

Fa started for a moment. This was one of her favorite songs- filled with sappy lyrics and slow melodious piano notes. She stared at Kamille in surprise.

"Don't look at me like that," he grumbled, "I had all the songs shuffled and the one you bought just _happened_ to turn up, okay?"

 _I knew you were the one I needed, the one I loved…_

"Yeah, I get it. You hate these songs," she replied back, barely hiding back a smile. As much as he frustrated her, there were moments when their friendship shone through. She didn't even care that he thought he could trick her.

 _After all, I never bought this song…_

* * *

 _Now as a final note, I want to reply to some of the comments, and then add a bit more about where I think this will be headed:_

 _1) Guest3's fic ideas: I love them. I enjoyed reading them and really (even personally) want to see them in fic form. I might change the plots a bit for both of them (for easier writing), but I have good news! The second idea is already in the making and sort-of-done (I'll explain that in part 3)._

 _2) Kamille's future occupation. I have a tendency of not sticking to a strict set of universe rules/fates. Most of these fics make no sense in continuity, so I like to create AUs that are slightly varied, just for more possibilities. However, if I don't say otherwise, he'll probably end up a doctor in that fic._

 _3) I'm planning on doing a group of chapters connected with a single plot. A fic inside a fic, in a way. These might not be posted right next to each other, but I'll make a note or something to show that it's part of a group of chapters. It's based around "why did Kamille not show up in CCA" question, but it takes a different take on it. It's still in the works, but I hope I'll be able to upload the first part soon!_

 _Thank you for reading!_


	5. Broken Pieces

_Hello everyone! Guess who's back after two months?_

 _That story idea I rambled on about in the last chapter is finally here... basically its my spin on if Kamille took the place of Gyunei during Char's Counterattack. It'll likely be a three-parter, for anyone who's interested in knowing, although I might post some other chapters in between._

 _Thank you so much, KamilleSu and guest3, for leaving reviews. I know I'm probably being redundant every chapter, but they mean the world in helping me update and be inspired. I was expecting for this fic to just stagnate on this website, but it's amazing how supportive people are! And please, talk as much as you want in the reviews; I enjoy every second of it and they are honestly the reason why I keep coming back and updating._

 _And of course, thank you to everyone who reads this! I will hopefully update again soon._

 _76\. Broken Pieces_

 _Rating: T_

* * *

Seven years were not long enough to heal his scars.

She always argued against him whenever he brought this up, but that unwavering gaze of emptiness remained as he told her, again and again, that he was broken. It faded soon, vanishing with the gentle kisses she placed on his trembling lips, the little moments of happiness they shared together. But it always came back. She could never tell when it'd return, if the feverish nightmare would be the last straw, or if the mementos of their fallen friends forever implanted in their daily lives would bring that hollow look back in his eyes.

She tried so hard to let him forgive and forget, but there were times when he would lock himself up in his room for hours, ensnared in the traumatizing backlashes of his Newtype abilities, and she could do nothing to help. He came out eventually, loud and obnoxious as ever, and she never told him about the choking tears she'd hear across the door, because there was nothing she could do about it. She could distance herself from the past. He could not.

But still she tried. Smiling was a given, and so were the hugs. Anything to keep him in the present, even if it ended up being the two of them fighting again. At least the fights were harmless. She made every moment count, holding his hand as the two labored over medical school, teasing him for the bedhead he'd always forget to brush in the mornings. He'd scoff over her comments about professionalism, but grudgingly oblige to her combing through it right before the two left for the hospital.

And for a while, she thought it worked. When he'd presented the velvet box to her, eyes sparkling with joy and nervousness, he was _there_ , gently putting the diamond ring on her finger as the two kissed under the moonlight. She felt the same at their wedding, laughing as he grumbled about the tight-fitting suit throughout their dance. It was there every time they saved a patient, his presence almost emanating his happiness. Even in his small signs of affection, there was a joy that she'd never felt before.

Then one day it all vanished.

* * *

She hadn't known the concealed man she met at the door, but Kamille recognized him instantly.

Yes; Lieutenant Quattro Bajeena was back from the dead. He introduced himself as Char Deikun, and told them that he was planning a revolution that would change humanity for the better. But for that, he needed Kamille to fight again.

His stay did not last long after that. She had to restrain Kamille from lashing out at him, but that didn't stop him for bitterly refusing the former Lieutenant's reply. She forced herself not to say the same. With a tight-lipped smile, she said farewell, hoping that this would simply be an event soon forgotten.

That was not the case.

The nightmares came back that night more vicious than ever. He woke up in a cold sweat, grasping the bedsheets in terror. She barely calmed him down, tears dripping onto her cheek as she embraced him as tightly as possible. She hushed him, but the words of self-hate and fear continued to flow in between his crying. For every time he mentioned his brokenness, she responded with a tighter squeeze, kissing his mouth in a vain attempt of stopping his malignant thoughts. The two of them passed out from exhaustion eventually, and their morning was silent and awkward. Neither of them dared to speak.

This continued on for three days, and she noticed with each passing night the vibrant blue in his eyes began to dull, burdened by hidden emotions. However, on the fourth morning, his irises brightened once more after he read a letter in the mail, and he quickly dashed upstairs to change. She peered at the opened letter on the table, and immediately ran up after him, clenching the paper in her fist.

He was almost completely changed by the time she came up, slipping on his coat as she spoke to him in disbelief.

"Kamille… you're not going to see him, are you?"

He looked up in confusion. "I _need_ to go see him."

"But this is madness! Remember when we saw him? He wanted you to go back-"

"Now it's different!"

"He's a changed man, Kamille! I'm not letting you go!"

"Fa, why don't you understand? I'm doing this for _you_."

She stepped back at his response. "I… don't get what you mean…"

"This brain surgery will help me, Fa. I won't be broken anymore."

"You're not broken!" she screamed, tears streaming down her face. "You're perfectly fine, and I don't understand why you'll let him do this to you!"

He stepped up to her, wiping the tears away with his finger. "Fa. Look at me. Please."

With reddened eyes, she looked up at his resigned smile.

"It's been seven years, Fa. I haven't gotten better, and you've been the one who's had to deal with that all this time."

"But-"

"Listen to me for a moment. It might not seem wrong to you, but the fact that you always have to watch out for me hurts me everyday. How long do you expect to do this? Years? Decades? Until I die? I can't let you do that. Look, I've been looking into different options for a while. All of them are way too expensive for us to even dream about, so I thought this was the only way. But now I can piece myself back together again. Lt. Quattro's paying for all of it, and there's no mention of going back… there. Trust me on this. Please."

"I still don't understand…"

"I've been hurting you for far too long. How great would it be if you wouldn't have to deal with my nightmares anymore? With my trauma? It's for you, Fa. I can't bear to have you carry my pain like this for any longer."

She hated herself for thinking so, but her mind slowly began supporting the idea. Kamille saw her hesitation and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"It'll only be a short stay. I'll come back if anything sounds fishy, and I'll call you every week. So please? Let me try and fix myself."

She doesn't remember how she responded to him, but she knows that she said yes. He left their house after giving her a passionate kiss on the cheek, promising all of the new happiness they would find after the operation.

A week passed with no reply from him. Then two weeks, then four, then two months.

She tried calling his phone, but it was always turned off. She searched at the proposed meeting spot, but no one had ever heard of a Char Deikun passing through the area. She worked constantly to find any trace of him, but he was gone. It was a full year of searching before she finally collapsed, drowning herself in her sorrow and pain. Nevertheless, she kept on looking, hoping she'd find him someday.

It was with dread she saw the announcement of Char Deikun's assault on the Earth Federation with the newly constructed Neo Zeon. Her efforts doubled, asking all of the military contacts she had to try and find Kamille. They had nothing.

It was only in the aftermath of the Second Neo Zeon War that she found anything. She'd read over the newspaper reports in vain, only seeing the "AMURO RAY AND CHAR AZNABLE MIA" reports. And then she found a file in the mail sent to her by Bright Noa. Inside the file was several military documents, along with a short note posted on top. She read the note first, written in Bright's quick strokes.

"Found this. Tell me if you want to see him."

She scanned the notes with rapid vigor, but her joy quickly turned into surprise and then pure despair. The papers were in reverse chronological order, so nothing appeared to make sense at first. At the last document, however, she threw the paper on the floor. It floated to the ground with the title up, taunting her with its black words all in capitals. Its one phrase scarred itself into her brain, filling her vision even as her eyes flooded with tears.

Newtype-Enhancement Project A-7. Subject 1: Kamille Bidan.


	6. Stars

_Whoa. It has been so long. I'm sorry for keeping everyone in suspense after I promised a quick update! Hopefully this longer one will keep you entertained! I'm afraid updates will still be sporadic with life events, but I'll try as hard as I can to get it out soon._

 _I was so surprised at all the reviews I got for the previous chapter! As a general note, I love all of your ideas and will definitely try to incorporate them into future chapters. Keep a look out! To answer each of the reviews here:_

* * *

 _Guest4: The reason why he calls himself Char Deikun in that chapter is because that's the name he took during Char's Counterattack in the movie, I believe. It served to be a combination of his roots as Zeon's heir (the Deikun part) as well as his most well-known identity (Char). I am definitely with you on finding more classic Gundam stories! I might be expanding outside of this fic a little in the future, too, so we'll see what happens. :)_

 _Iron Warrior: I find it really interesting how there are so many interpretations to this single event in 0093, from the movie to the novels and all other possible theories out there. I personally was relieved when I found out Kamille didn't make the final cut for the movie, but I was always curious to see how it might turn out. Seeing something like that in canon would be too cruel for him, though._

 _Guest: Thank you so much! Hopefully there will be more stories in the future with canon characters!_

 _KamilleSu: I left and came back again, my apologies. I can't spoil the other two parts of the story, but the ending won't be too sad! Also, it's amazing to think that the Halloween chapter would inspire something like that. I feel touched! And it's my pleasure to mention reviewers at the beginning; you all are all a big help._

* * *

 _The second part of the entire CCA-mini arc is in process, but a combination of ZZ Gundam and the new Super Robot Taisen game inspired me to write this AU one-shot. It's basically a Super Robot Taisen what-if scenario concerning the two Zeta pilots meeting again in CCA-ish era. It's a little more Kamille and not a lot of Fa, but I felt it fit anyway. Reviews are always greatly appreciated, and I hope you enjoy!_

 _6\. Stars_

* * *

"Lieutenant, the ensign has arrived."

Kamille looked up from his computer screen, currently entailing the details of the next operation. Aya Fujika stood rigidly in front of the door with her cheeks oddly flushed red. Strange. She wasn't usually this flustered by anything, especially him. But maybe it was too early to say that. Six months on a ship didn't give you much info, contrary to the image of "camaraderie" that the Federation always wanted to portray within the ranks. And Officer Fujika had only been his assistant for a few weeks.

Putting those questions aside, he nodded and stood up. The new uniform felt stiff against his skin, and he remembered bitterly that he'd sworn never to put one of them on ever again. Still, it wasn't as unbearable as he'd imagined; it was essentially a nice jacket, nothing more (or so he forced himself to believe).

"Alright then, Officer. You can bring him in."

After perking up slightly, she exited the room, but not before tripping over the door frame. Seriously, what was wrong with her today? In fact, it was just like Fa would act back when they were younger. Except that was a different story…

His hand reached out to the already-worn picture frame on his desk. _You're too old-fashioned, Kamille. Who in the world uses these anymore?_ Fa'd teased him on the day of their third anniversary, slipping the dark cedar frame into his hands. The wood was now bleached and faded, its former rough texture weathered under constant touch. Several people had already inquired about the old antique, but he could never really explain to them why he carried it around with him. The frame was his last tie to his family, to peace in a way.

"L-lieutenant…"

The nervous cough trickled across the room as the door slid open. Aya was back, but was hidden behind Kamille's guest.

"Thanks for the tour of the ship, Aya-chan! Is it me, or have the Feddies actually started funding their crews now?"

"A-ah, well, I wouldn't know that, Ensign A- I mean… I haven't been here for too-"

Kamille simply raised his eyebrows. "A tour, Officer?"

Rapid hand-shaking denial ensued. "I'm sorry, I accidentally lost my way and had to go around the lower decks before I realized my mistake. It wasn't on purpose, Lieutenant!"

"Ah, no worries about it! It was fun, nothing bad happened. Why should someone yell at you for something like that?"

"I-I…"

He fought the urge to roll his eyes. Even after seven years, his guest was still the same. It was now painfully obvious what was wrong with the officer: she was lovestruck. Infatuated with the dashing new ensign who'd transferred onto the _Ra Cailium_.

"Thank you, Officer Fujika. You may now leave. You can be acquainted with… ah… the ensign at a later time." It took another quick nod and stumble before she was completely out of the room.

At last, there was silence. He just didn't know what to say, standing rigidly in the middle of the room. After seven years of hell, the two of them had come back full circle. They volunteered themselves for war. He'd been surprised when the pilot's name had appeared on the transfer database. Last he'd heard from him, he was disgusted with the ways of the Federation and quickly aligned himself with the Jupiter Energy Fleet. Nevertheless, there he was, also in a tight blue Federation jacket.

"Say, Kamille-san. I don't think Aya-chan knows I'm married."

Well. That was an interesting start. A slight smile quivered on his lips.

"It would help if you acted like it, Judau."

"What, become as socially withdrawn as you? Nah, I think I'll pass. After all," Judau's grin grew until the tips reached his cheeks, and "I still gotta make a living around here. Who knows, Aya-chan might be up for some mass purchases of helium now."

In that moment, the 14-year-old Shangri-La teenager of years past shone within those cheerful and sly eyes, and Kamille too felt more at ease. "Still making profits?" A hand unconsciously brushed through his hair as the other one stretched out towards him. "Good to see you're doing alright."

The hand he received was firm, serving as a reminder that while much of Judau's personality had stayed the same over the years, he'd physically matured as well. Seven years ago Kamille easily was taller than him by several centimeters, but while growth had stopped for him there, it had given Judau a solid twenty or so. His face was sharper, the slight roundness of youth giving away to a contoured face and focused green eyes. The hand in question was still calloused in the familiar places (he'd obviously still been working with metal lately) along with bruises that colored his wrists a dark red. Those were definitely mobile suit injuries, probably from some unsteady flights. But if they hadn't changed color yet…

"You need to heat these regularly. Maybe even have them drained," he said, slowly turning Judau's wrists upward. The man in question cocked an eyebrow before he followed Kamille's line of sight.

"What, these? Come on, Kamille-san, you've had a couple've bruises before, haven't you? It's nothing that bad-"

"While I _usually_ would say the same, you're going to be piloting, Judau. These hematomas will interfere with the controls."

"Hema-what?"

Kamille sighed. "It doesn't matter. The important thing is that these are unhealed bruises that might end up getting you killed one day. Do you remember how you got these? Were they at the same time? Was it a hard collision or-"

"Um… I don't remember? And what's with all the questions?"

The lieutenant's left hand tapped impatiently on Judau's arm. "I'm a doctor, you know. Trying to see if you need emergency medical attention."

Judau raised his arm incredulously. "This? Kamille-san, this won't kill me. Even I know that."

He conveniently ignored him. "If the hematomas on your wrists are this big, there might be a subdural one as well… Any headaches? Seizures? You seem to be talking fine."

"Subdural…?"

In the end he couldn't take it. " _Bleeding in the head_ ," he gritted through his teeth. Patience. He needed patience. He was a doctor, he was certified, he could do this.

Kamille watched with a blank stare as Judau nonchalantly reached toward the back of his head and patted it. "Nope. No blood here," he said, cheerfully showing the open palm.

Honestly, he had all the reasons to slap him.

Years of conditioning had him slap himself instead.

From the open slits between his fingers he could see Judau shaking, trying to stop his laughter by clutching his mouth. "Oh, so you think this is funny, don't you?" Curling his fist seemed completely natural once again, after so many years. Only then did he realize that something had changed in Judau. The joy in his eyes seemed more real, as if it was a look of honest relief.

"I'm just glad you're not frowning anymore," he said, rubbing his neck somewhat bashfully, "That was a pretty bad way to do that, but I guess I'm still good at making people angry, you know? That hasn't changed in the last few years."

"I… was frowning…?" Kamille was suddenly self-conscious about the scowl slowly vanishing from his face. It felt stiff, foreign. Like he wasn't using enough energy in keeping his expression.

Judau nodded. "Ever since I came in. And Aya-chan didn't seemed to be fazed by that. You kinda smiled at the beginning, but I didn't know you'd be so worried about everything! Although I guess it makes sense, since you're a doctor and all..."

"There's not much to smile about anymore, is there?" The whisper was barely audible, yet it stopped the young man's train of thought. The once-prominent scowl was completely gone underneath years of quiet sorrow: a mask built to protect others, but mostly himself. Emotion was useless, even beyond his job. And yet it was bitterly ironic, for he was emotional, he was a _Newtype_. Concealing it was the only way he could function.

Judau shuffled over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "There's always something, Kamille-san. Come on, let's sit down for a bit."

He allowed himself to be dragged over to the coffee table and be adjusted into what was apparently "the best resting position" by his fellow officer. It was just like the old days, with his arms dangling limply at his side, eyes glazed and emotionless. Except this time, he was sentient. And honestly, he couldn't tell the difference anymore.

"There we go!" Brimming with satisfaction, Judau clapped his hands on a job well done and plopped down alongside him. "Now that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"I fail to see what that had to do with any of it," he retorted quietly, glancing down at the carpet floor.

"Oh, but it does, Kamille-san! It has to do with everything!" Grinning, Judau leaned against the sofa, giving no explanation for his cryptic words. It made Kamille feel a little better that Judau still had a part of his carefree and positive self, but he couldn't grasp anything beyond that. The boy from Shangri-La always had his own way of approaching and dealing with things. He was different from Amuro, who, while suffering, always had a tired visage and fingers that would shake at any moment. And of course, vastly different from his own younger self, who only lashed out at all the wrong things. Judau Ashta was unique in that he always went along with a smile on his face, even though his thoughts spoke otherwise. This was true when he'd first felt him back on Shangri La, and even when he'd been sent on a plane away from Dublin. That tooth-filled laugh and energetic persona hid a young boy who'd been forced to grow up, a boy who'd known how to grieve too early.

"I… still don't understand." And maybe he simply couldn't? Was it already beyond his subdued mind, clouded through the years? "The fact that we're in this very ship… doesn't that prove to you that we'll never change anything? That we'll be stuck fighting until we die? And every time, there's going to be people who'll never come back. Killed by the stupidest things. Humanity never changes, Judau. And it never will." He realized his voice was getting too loud, that the officers behind the wall would probably hear the renowned pilot of the Gryps Conflict break down. With an audible noise, he clamped his mouth shut.

Judau Ashta himself had also become more subdued over the years, and Kamille was greeted with a silent pondering rather than the expected loud denial. With a twinge of disappointment he lowered his head, preferring the black leather of the couch over the blue carpet.

"You know, I think you're lying."

The single phrase came out of nowhere, and Kamille couldn't help but feel a flash of annoyance. "Excuse me?" He snapped, hackles subconsciously raised.

Wide-open eyes blinked at him rapidly. "Oh, no no! That's not what I meant! I just think you're lying to yourself without knowing… please don't strangle me."

"Well then," he huffed, stiff arms crossing across his uniform, "Would you mind elaborating?"

"Of course. Your actions… don't match up with what you're saying... Wait, let me try this again."

"Roux told me you were getting more respectable in your conversations."

"Eh… that's because we're married now. She likes me better. But that's not the point here! Kamille-san, you have to stop thinking big for a moment."

"Sure, the lieutenant of the Londo Bell should start prioritizing himself over everything else. Why don't I go leave my squadron on the battlefield right now?" he snapped, although internally he knew he was just being stubborn. A small part of him already could grasp at what Judau was trying to explain. But it seemed too easy. Too naive. And all of his naivete had vanished years before.

"No, no… maybe… Aha!"

Suddenly, the ensign reached forward from the sofa. Before Kamille could comprehend what was happening, the picture frame was already in Judau's nimble hands. The three figures forever imprinted in his memory appeared once again in his line of sight.

"He's beautiful, Kamille-san. You're lucky to have him." Judau's voice was now considerably lower, and yet it resonated deeper with Kamille. There was nothing but pure happiness in that voice, a gentle fondness as he brushed his fingers against the old wood. And that was one feeling Kamille himself could reciprocate. His anger drained immediately.

"He takes after his mom a lot," he replied, instinctively feeling warmer, "Loud and fussy just like her. He won't let anyone but us carry him."

"Sounds more like you than Fa, Kamille-san."

"I… I guess so." Normally, he'd have spit back a half-angry, half-resigned insult at anything like that. But it was strangely endearing to think about it. His own son, taking after him? Maybe he'd like playing with metal parts in the future, or was that going too far? Would he end up taking after his… more risky behaviors in the past?

Judau smiled next to him. "You finally agree with me for once, then?"

"Stop making it sound like it's something big," he grumbled in response, but his eyes didn't leave the photo frame. His son wasn't even a year old, yet here he was, away from him and his wife. He'd mulled it over for the past few nights, wondering why he ever decided to come back. And yet after all those sleepless hours, he hadn't found an answer.

"What's his name?" Judau, once again indifferent to his inner thoughts, asked, squinting an eyebrow at the photo.

"Shinya. Shinya Bidan. Although, I bet he doesn't even know it yet… all he does is laugh whenever I say anything. I can't ever tell if he's actually listening or not… Fa swears by it though."

"Does it bother you?"

Kamille widened his eyes at the question. "Of course not! I love his laugh the best. All I have to do is cough before he starts giggling. And his entire body starts trembling too… I don't understand why…" He shook his head.

"Well then, Kamille-san. I think that settles it. You have someone to smile for, to fight for. I mean, of course there's Fa-san too… You know, I probably should've gone with that first."

The full realization didn't hit him until a second later, when the picture in the frame and Judau's brilliant smile started making sense.

The ensign leaned back onto his shoulders. "Isn't that what we're fighting for? So that the people we care about don't have to worry about this? We can't change humanity as a whole, of course. And that shouldn't be the _only_ reason to fight. Because, well… that's impossible! Even with all this Newtype stuff, we're still just people in the end. We fight because we have something to protect. Something personal. And it seems to me like keeping little Shinya's laugh is definitely something worth fighting for."

For the first time in years, Kamille sensed a strong pressure coming off of someone. He hadn't been in contact with Newtypes for ages, so the rush of energy was sudden, almost breath-taking. And yet, it wasn't the brutal deluge of emotions that he'd felt during his time as a pilot. There was nothing but warmth. A strong, stable warmth that served to remind of an ever hopeful future, of a dream shared by all, but individually. Judau's answer was simplistic, almost basic, but he'd neglected that concise answer for all of this time. Even while it was staring at him in the face every day.

"I understand" were the only words that left his lips. But for Kamille, it was like his previously clouded mind had been cleansed.

"I knew you already did, Kamille-san." The picture frame was passed to Kamille as quickly as it'd been picked up, along with a quick nonchalant laugh. "It's funny though. I'm giving people advice about things I've been struggling with for the past seven years."

Kamille joined in on the laughter, and pointed out how people were better at giving directions than following them. After all, this message was the one he'd yelled to the world when he was 17. Yet here he was, struggling with its meaning as an adult.

"I guess," Judau replied, scratching his head bashfully. "I was so lost back then. After Haman died, I just didn't know what to do. Nothing seemed to change, and everyone ended up dying instead. The Federation sure didn't help."

"So you decided to pilot for the Jupiter Fleet?"

"Yup. I think I finally found myself after all those flights. Lots of interesting things happened. But most of all, I think it helped me understand who _I_ am personally."

Kamille looked back behind him, his window gleaming with the light of a thousand stars. "I guess that's all we can do as humans, right?"

Judau followed his gaze and stared out of the window in awe, the bright shine dancing on his green pupils. "For now. Who knows though? There are so many possibilities out there, Kamille-san. And I can't wait to see all of them."

As the _Ra Cailium_ sailed through the stars, the two pilots looked on at the never-ending galaxies around them, each light signifying a new place to see, a new experience to felt. They may be at war now, but hope was around every corner. And for a split-second in time, Kamille sensed the entire universe pulsate in all of its infinite possibilities.

"Me too, Judau. Me too."


End file.
